
Cincy's BEST Courtyard? Union Centre's Hidden Gem REVEALED!
Cincy's BEST Courtyard? Union Centre's Hidden Gem REVEALED! (Or Is It?) – A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea (complimentary, hopefully!) on the Courtyard by Marriott Cincinnati Union Centre. I'm talking real, raw, unfiltered – no PR fluff here. You want the truth? You got it. This isn't just a review; it's a journey. A messy, sometimes glorious journey.
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First Impressions (The Good, The Bad, and the Surprisingly Beige)
Pulling up to the Union Centre, you already feel like you're in a slightly upscale business park. It's clean, it's efficient… it's… well, not exactly bursting with personality. But hey, let’s be honest, sometimes you just want a clean, functional space, right?
Exterior: Modern, concrete-y, perfectly pleasant. Nothing to write home about, but hey, no broken windows or questionable characters loitering, so thumbs up. (Score: 7/10 - could use a splash of color!)
Check-in: Smooth! Like butter. Contacless! (I usually mess this up, so a win!) The front desk staff? Friendly enough, but nothing particularly dazzling. Efficient. Professional. Meh. (Score: 8/10 - Personality, people! Give me some personality!)
Accessibility: Is This Heaven…or Just Accessible Flooring?
This is IMPORTANT. Because, you know, accessibility matters. And I'm thrilled to report, YES! They've thought about it.
- Wheelchair Accessible? Check! Ramps, elevators, all the good stuff. They've got the basics covered. (Score: 9/10 - Always room for improvement, but solid.)
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: They have rooms designed to meet accessibility needs. (Score: 9/10)
Accessibility - My Personal Disaster
One time (and this is a true story!), I desperately needed a handicap-accessible room after a particularly nasty knee injury, and they were completely booked. It was a comedy of errors, involving a crutch, a small, standard room, and an awful lot of swearing. It was not a good look. Since then, I ALWAYS call ahead. So, learn from my pain, people! Call!
Room Vibes (And the Quest for Blackout Curtains)
Okay, the room. This is where things get…interesting.
- Cleanliness: Spotless! Seriously, they got it right. No dust bunnies, no mysterious stains. Relief breathes out (Score: 10/10 - Finally, a win!)
- Air Conditioning: Worked like a charm! Thank the heavens! (Score: 10/10 - Especially in a humid Ohio summer!)
- Bed: Comfy! Pillows? Plentiful. I could have happily spent the entire trip just horizontal. (Score: 9/10)
- Blackout Curtains: This is where things get personal. I NEED blackout curtains. Otherwise, I'm basically a grumpy, caffeine-starved zombie. The curtains WERE blackout curtains, but… not quite blackout. There was a sliver of light that managed to breach my slumber. This is a serious flaw, in my book. (Score: 7/10 - Curtains, people! Make them BLACKOUT!)
- Available in All Rooms: Air conditioning, alarm clock, coffee/tea maker (essential), free wifi, a mini fridge to stash your snacks – these are room essentials. (Score: 10/10)
The Wi-Fi Saga (And the Eternal Struggle)
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms: YES! And… it actually worked! (Score: 10/10 - Praise be! Slow wifi is my personal hell)
- Internet Access – LAN: Didn't need it, but the option was there. (Score: N/A (I didn't test it, I'm not a monster))
The Spa, Pool, and Fitness Center: Expectations vs. Reality (With a Side of Steam Room)
This is where the "Courtyard" starts to feel a little… misleading. Because a "spa" in its truest, most decadent sense, this ain't.
- Fitness Center/Gym: Functional. Treadmills, weights… basically, all the things you need to feel guilty about not using. (Score: 7/10 - Fine for burning off the buffet calories.)
- Swimming Pool [Outdoor]: The pool area was nice, well-maintained, but the vibe was a little sterile. Would've loved some music or some colorful umbrellas, or something. (Score: 7/10 - Needs a "cool" upgrade.)
- Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Okay, technically, they had a steam room. But sigh. It was… functional. I found myself longing for a proper spa experience. A full-body massage, a facial… something beyond just a steam room and a treadmill. (Score: 6/10 - More spa, less "meh"!)
- Pool with View: They technically have a view. It's of the business park. (Score: 5/10 - let's be honest, this is a hard sell!)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Fuel for a Cynical Reviewer)
- Breakfast [buffet]: The buffet was standard hotel fare. Eggs, bacon, pastries… nothing that would knock your socks off, but adequate to get you going. (Score: 7/10)
- Poolside Bar: There's a poolside bar! That's a big plus. (Score: 8/10)
- Restaurants: They have at least one restaurant and a small snack bar. (Score: 8/10)
- Room Service [24-hour]: Room service? Yes, please! Particularly helpful for those late-night cravings. (Score: 8/10)
Cleanliness and Safety (Thank God for Sanitizer!)
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer: All present and accounted for. Safety protocols were clearly in place and appreciated, especially post-pandemic. Really, it's a must. (Score: 10/10 - A safe and clean place!)
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things)
- Concierge: The concierge was helpful, but they never told me about the best BBQ place in town! (Score: 7/10)
- Daily housekeeping: The housekeeping was immaculate. (Score: 10/10)
- Convenience store: Snacks! Drinks! The necessities! Saved me a trip to the store. (Score: 9/10)
For the Kids (Because, let's be real, families travel too!)
- Family/child friendly: Not a ton of kids' activities, but the pool, restaurant, and all the basic amenities are great for families. (Score: 8/10 - More kids options would be great.)
Getting Around (Because You Can't Just Stay at the Hotel)
- Car park [free of charge]: Free parking! Always a bonus. (Score: 10/10)
The Verdict: Is It a Hidden Gem? Maybe… But With Caveats.
So, is the Courtyard by Marriott Cincinnati Union Centre a "hidden gem"? Well… it's not hidden. It's right there in plain sight. And it's not really a "gem" in the way, say, a boutique hotel with artisanal coffee and a rooftop terrace is.
But!
It's CLEAN. It's Functional. It's generally a pleasant place to stay. And in the world of hotel reviews, that's saying something.
If you're looking for a solid, reliable hotel experience, with good accessibility, and you don't mind the slightly sterile, business-y vibe, then yes, this is a perfectly acceptable choice. It's a good option for business travel, for a family. But don't expect luxury. Don't expect a "wow" moment. Expect, instead, a perfectly adequate stay. My overall score? 8/10. Could it be better? Absolutely. But for what it is, it's a solid choice.
Would I stay here again? Probably. (Especially if those blackout curtains improve!) Now, if you'll excuse me, I’m off to look at BBQ restaurant!
Kansas City Getaway: Fairfield Inn & Suites Liberty - Unbeatable Deals!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups. This ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. This is… well, this is me attempting to navigate a stay at the Courtyard Cincinnati North at Union Centre in West Chester. And honestly, I'm already half-expecting a rogue pizza delivery guy to wander into my room because, you know, life.
Day 1: Arrival and (Attempted) Chill
- 1:00 PM - Arrival (and immediate regret about packing that extra pair of shoes): Arrive at the Courtyard. First impressions? Clean-ish. Lobby looks like a slightly upscale airport waiting area. Check-in? Painless. The front desk lady, bless her heart, seemed to genuinely care that I had a good stay. That's a win in my book. Already feeling optimistic. Maybe this won't be a disaster.
- 1:30 PM - The Room… and the Great Wi-Fi Struggle: Okay, room is standard. Not bad. Kind of… beige. The kind of beige that whispers, "Don't expect to be wildly excited." But hey, a bed is a bed, right? Trying to connect to the Wi-Fi. Ugh. The password is approximately the length of the Magna Carta. After five agonizing minutes and a near-meltdown, finally connected. Victory! Time for some… work. (Sigh).
- 2:00 PM - Work (and the Coffee Debacle): Settled in to actually work, but the coffee situation needs immediate attention. The in-room coffee maker? Looks like it was designed by someone who actively hates coffee. It sputtered, it groaned, and eventually, it coughed up something that resembled lukewarm dishwater. Abandon ship! Need caffeine. Stat.
- 2:30 PM - Caffeine Run (and the Mysterious Absence of Real Cream): Scoured the lobby for coffee. Found it – the "in-lobby cafe". Ordered a latte, which was… okay. At least it was warm. The real crisis: they only had that fake, plastic-y chemical "creamer." Where's the real stuff? Come on, Courtyard! This is a basic travel survival skill!
- 3:00 PM - Work… Mostly… and the Unexpected Bed Complications: Back in the room, back to the grind. Feeling the afternoon slump. Trying to focus, but my brain keeps wandering. Thinking about that "creamer" situation, and also, why did that bed feel like it was trying to swallow me whole? It's just a tad… springy, if you know what I mean. Gonna need to adjust. Or maybe just accept that I'll be slightly tilted all night in a bid for a good night's rest.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner (and the Existential Dread of the Hotel Restaurant): Dinner. The "Bistro" in the hotel. The dreaded hotel restaurant. Oh boy. I mean, convenience is king, right? Ordered a burger because it's generally a safe bet in these situations. The burger? Edible. The fries? Adequate. The overall experience? Perfectly… forgettable. You know, the kind of meal that makes you question all your life choices?
- 7:30 PM - Attempted Relaxation (and the TV Remote Monster): Back in the room for some well-deserved downtime. Time to watch some mindless TV. But the remote? Oh, the remote. It's possessed! Buttons that shouldn't work DO, buttons that should work DO NOT. After battling the remote for a solid ten minutes, and accidentally switching to a show about competitive dog grooming, I just gave up. Guess it's a good book with a side of silence night then.
Day 2: Adventures (and a Descent into Mild Panic)
- 7:00 AM - Wake-Up (and a Repeat of the Coffee Calamity): Another day, another struggle. Coffee, round two. Replicated the in-room coffee fiasco of yesterday. Maybe I should have brought my own French press. Note to self: Travel French press.
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast (and a Fleeting Glimmer of Hope): Back to the Bistro. Ordered the eggs this time. Surprisingly decent! Maybe the chef needs to be in charge of the whole operation.
- 9:00 AM - Venture Out Into West Chester (and the Unexpected Joy of a Local Shop): Took the plunge and left the hotel. Needed fresh air, and maybe… maybe some retail therapy. Found a charming little bookstore/coffee shop just a few minutes away. Browsed the shelves, drank real coffee (!!!), and felt a genuine sense of peace. Who knew West Chester had such a gem?
- 11:00 AM - Back to Hotel and a "Power Hour" of work. - Back at the hotel for a power hour of work.
- 12:00 PM- Lunch at Hotel - Same as dinner, this time, I tried the chicken sandwich.
- 1:00 PM - Gym - Went to the gym. Working out is my only way of getting rid of stress.
- 3:00 PM - Swimming? - Took a dip in the pool, which was slightly warm with cold outside.
- 5:00 PM - Hotel dinner and planning to bed. - Back to the bistro.
Day 3: Departure (and a Deep Breath of Freedom)
- 7:00 AM - Wake Up : Coffee..
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast
- 9:00 AM - Check-out (and a Final, Fond Goodbye to the Front Desk Lady): Checked out, feeling a mix of relief and the vague sense that I'd just survived a minor wilderness expedition. Thanked the lovely front desk lady again; she deserved a medal for her patience.
- 9:30 AM - A Final Look Back (and a Long Sigh): As I drove away, I glanced back at the Courtyard. It wasn't the Ritz. It wasn't perfect. But hey, I survived. And maybe, just maybe, I'll remember that bookstore and the surprisingly good eggs. The rest? Well, that's what memories are made of, right? Imperfect, messy, and occasionally, surprisingly delightful. At least I had a good story to tell, even if that story involved a rogue remote and a caffeine crisis.

Cincy's BEST Courtyard? Union Centre's Hidden Gem REVEALED! (And Seriously, Don't Tell EVERYONE!)
Okay, okay, spill it! Where *IS* this magical courtyard? And is it really all that?
What makes this courtyard so special, besides you apparently having a full-blown emotional breakdown upon entering?
Is there anything *bad* about this courtyard? Because, you know, perfection is boring.
Speaking of lunch… can you eat there? What's the deal with food and drink?
Okay, okay, I'm intrigued. What's the best time to visit?
So, what's the *one thing* you always do when you go to this courtyard?


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