Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort Luxury Awaits!
Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort Luxury Awaits! (Or Does It?) - A Review That's Got Some Baggage, Honesty, and Maybe Tears (Of Joy or Frustration)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your typical, sterile hotel review. This is the real deal, warts and all. We're talkin' Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort, the place that promises "luxury" and "escape." Did it deliver? Let's just say I've got a few opinions… and a whole lotta laundry to unfold.
Accessibility - Is it Easy Peasy? Not Entirely…
First things first: accessibility. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I'm mindful. The website mentions facilities, which sounds promising, right? Well, the reality was a little… less advertised. While there is an elevator, I saw some tight corners and a general sense of, "well, we tried." Getting around the sprawling property felt like a mini-marathon. I imagine navigating with mobility issues would be… challenging. They need to be way clearer about the specifics.
On-Site Grub & Grog - Food, Glorious Food (Mostly!)
Okay, the food situation. This is where things get interesting.
- Restaurants & Lounges: They have multiple restaurants. That's a plus. Variety is the spice of life and all that. I bounced between them, sampling the Asian, the international fare, and the… well, let’s just call it "American Comfort" offerings. The Asian place? Surprisingly decent, the noodles were on point. The international? Eh, hit or miss. Some dishes were divine, others were… confused. It’s like the chef had a map and a box of random ingredients and just went for it. The "American Comfort"? Well, let’s just say I developed a strong appreciation for the breakfast buffet.
- Breakfast? YES, Please! The buffet was a lifesaver. Scrambled eggs, waffles, the works. Definitely worth it. Breakfast in room? They offer it, but the service was a bit slow.
- Poolside Bar? Yes! (And, you know, important). Drinks, snacks, the whole shebang. Perfect for pretending you're not stressed about… well, everything.
- Coffee Shop? A lifesaver for those early morning caffeine cravings and a pastry, which is what I needed to face my day.
The Room - The Good, The Bad, and the Bemoaned…
- Internet? Free Wi-Fi? YES! In all rooms? YES! And thankfully, because my phone signal was about as reliable as a politician's promise. I needed it for work, to order food, and to occasionally stalk my ex (don't judge). Ethernet? Sure, if you're into the 90's vibe.
- Amenities? Air conditioning, yes (thank goodness, because Asheville can get HOT!). Bathrobes and slippers? Fancy! Coffee/tea maker? Essential! The bed? Extra long, WHICH I appreciated. The bathroom was… well, let's say it included a bathtub and a shower. The whole thing could have used a bit of a refresh, but hey, at least it was there!
- Non-Smoking? YES! Thank the heavens.
- The View? Okay, this is where things started to tilt towards the "luxury" side of things. I sprung for a room with a view, and oh, MAN. Absolutely stunning views of the mountains. Absolutely worth the extra cash. Every morning I'd wake up and let out a little squeee of happiness. It’s the kind of view that makes you want to forget all your problems and become a slightly successful landscape artist. Beautiful.
Things To Do & Ways to Relax (and how I DID NOT relax…)
- The Spa: OKAY, the spa was a big selling point for me. "Escape," remember? I envisioned massages, steam rooms, the whole shebang. I booked a massage. The massage itself was… fine. Good, even. But the spa facilities were… underwhelming. The sauna was small, the steam room felt a bit… neglected. And the "pool with a view"? Yeah, it's nice, but you're looking at the same scenery as the other 50 guests. It's the anti-luxury.
- Fitness Center: Yeah, it exists. I… I’m not a gym person. Let’s leave it at that.
- The Pool: The outdoor pool was actually nice, but again… crowded. Which killed the whole “escape” vibe somewhat.
- Other Activities: They mention stuff like "Body scrubs" and "Body wraps." Didn't try them. Too afraid it would involve a mandatory mud mask and some interpretive dance.
Cleanliness & Safety - Is it Germ-Free?
- COVID Stuff: The resort tried. They had hand sanitizer everywhere, staff wore masks, and they were doing "Daily disinfection" – although, frankly, I'm not sure what that really involved. They offered "Room sanitization opt-out" if you're paranoid, and I’m glad they did, as I've been through my germaphobe period. Individually wrapped food? Check. Safe dining setup? Check. I felt that they made an effort, which is something I can appreciate.
Services & Conveniences - The Nitty Gritty
- Daily Housekeeping: Yes. Thank goodness.
- Concierge: Helpful enough, but felt a little… impersonal.
- Elevator: Yes. Essential.
- Laundry & Dry Cleaning: Available, which was great after spilling red wine on my only decent shirt.
- Meeting/Banquet Facilities: Seemed like they cater to business travelers. I saw some people in suits. It reminded me of the time I spilled a hot coffee on my suit in a meeting.
- Gift/Souvenir Shop: Yes… just.
- Car Park: FREE. A lifesaver, because Asheville parking is a nightmare.
For the Kids?
- Babysitting? Yes.
- Family/Child Friendly? Definitely. Lots of families.
Getting Around
- Airport Transfer: Yes.
- Car Park: Free.
- Taxi service: Available.
The Imperfections Are the Charm (Kind Of)
Look, the Asheville Escape Crowne Plaza Resort isn’t perfect. Far from it. It's a bit of a mixed bag, like a box of chocolates where you're not quite sure what you're gonna get. Accessibility needs a serious upgrade. The spa is… well, could be better. But there's something… endearing about its imperfections. The views are stunning. The staff, despite the impersonal feel at times, was generally friendly. And I found some moments of genuine peace, even if I had to fight for them.
Final Verdict:
Would I go back? Maybe. Especially if I got a great deal. It's a decent option, particularly if you’re looking for a place with great views, can be comfortable in a group, and you're not expecting true luxury. Just be prepared for a bit of a gamble with the food, the spa, and the accessibility. It’s more of a “relax-adjacent” kind of place. But hey, sometimes, that’s good enough. At the end of the day, the memories make it.
SEO & Metadata:
- Title: Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort Review - Luxury, Landscapes, and a Little Bit of Chaos!
- Keywords: Asheville, Crowne Plaza, Resort, Review, Hotel, Mountain views, Spa, Accessible, Restaurant, Pool, Cleanliness, COVID-19, North Carolina, Luxury, Vacation ,Travel, Experience, Spa, Food, Accessibility, Amenities
- Meta Description: Honest, funny, and detailed review of Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort. Find out about accessibility, food, spa, cleanliness, and everything in between! Real experiences and opinions.
- H1: Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort - A Review That's Got Some Baggage
- H2: Accessibility - Is it Easy Peasy? Not Entirely…
- H2: On-Site Grub & Grog - Food, Glorious Food (Mostly!)
- H2: The Room - The Good, The Bad, and the Bemoaned…
- H2: Things To Do & Ways to Relax (and how I DID NOT relax…)
- H2: Cleanliness & Safety - Is it Germ-Free?
- H2: Services & Conveniences - The Nitty Gritty
- H2: For the Kids?
- H2: Getting Around
- H2: The Imperfections Are the Charm (Kind Of)
- H2: Final Verdict:
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your average, pristine travel itinerary. We're diving headfirst into the Crowne Plaza Resort Asheville, and let me tell you, it's going to be a ride. Get ready, because it's gonna get messy, hilarious, and brutally honest.
The Crowne Plaza Asheville: A Whirlwind of Mountains, Maybe Some Meltdowns, and Definitely Coffee
Day 1: Arrival, Apprehensions, and a Questionable Pizza
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown in Asheville, Baby! Alright, so the flight wasn’t exactly smooth. Turbulence? Check. My carry-on practically exploding when I reached for the overhead bin? Double check. But hey, we're here! The air smells fresher than my last attempt at making a pesto. (Let's just say the cat wasn't impressed.)
- 2:00 PM: The Crowne Plaza Check-In – A Love/Hate Relationship Starts. The lobby is… well, it's got potential. That giant fireplace looks promising for a future Instagram post. The indoor pool looks… inviting. But let's be honest, the check-in line stretches longer than my attention span after a glass of wine. The incredibly kind front desk lady is going a mile a minute, and my brain is already on vacation mode, and I'm desperately trying to not forget where the hell I parked. We're in room 312. Excellent!
- 2:30 PM: Unpacking and Judgement. Okay, the room. It's… fine. The view of the mountains is killer, though! I’m already half-tempted to spend the whole time just staring out the window, forgetting all my responsibilities… This is after all the reason why I came here. The bed, however, is a solid "meh." I hope it's more comfy than it looks (I can't take another night like the last hotel in my hometown!).
- 3:30 PM: A Culinary Disaster of Epic Proportions. Tired of the air travel feeling, I decide to order some pizza. I'm starving and the hotel's restaurant, "Asheville Pizza & Brewing," is convenient. I'm usually not a fan of hotel food, so maybe I'm setting myself up for disappointment here, oh well. I order a pepperoni pizza. One bite in, and this is worse than my ex's cooking. It tastes like cardboard topped with sadness. I vow to scour Asheville for edible sustenance tomorrow.
- 6:00 PM: The Indoor Pool – A Moment of Pure, Unadulterated Joy. Okay, I admit it. I'm a sucker for an indoor pool, especially after a chaotic travel day. The kids splash, the adults awkwardly swim. The water's lukewarm, which I appreciate because I'm cold all the time. I close my eyes and let my worries float away… at least until some kid jumps in and gives me a face full of chlorinated water. Still, heaven.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner at the Hotel's Restaurant? Nope. I'm still traumatized by the pizza. I'm heading into town. I'm starving and it can't get worse, can it?
Day 2: Hiking, Heartbreak, and the Pursuit of the Perfect Biscuit
- 7:00 AM: Coffee Panic. I need coffee. Desperately. The in-room coffee maker is… questionable. I trek down to the hotel's "coffee shop," which feels less like a coffee shop and more like a glorified vending machine. I opt for the pre-made latte. It's lukewarm and tastes like burnt plastic. This is a crisis. I'm starting to think I should have brought my own coffee paraphernalia.
- 8:00 AM: The Great Smoky Mountains National Park. I'm a sucker for a good hike. The hotel's location is perfect for accessing the park. The air is so fresh it practically purifies your soul. The trails lead me past babbling brooks and towering trees, so the journey is well. I am amazed! I might be in love with the mountains.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch – The Biscuit Quest (Sort Of). I’d read somewhere about the amazing biscuits in Asheville, and the hotel's restaurant is rumored to serve a decent one. So, I head back, hoping for redemption after the pizza fiasco. The biscuit… it's okay. Not life-changing, not even particularly memorable. But hey, it's not cardboard-flavored, so that's a win, right?
- 2:00 PM: Shopping, a Bad Decision. I had this crazy idea to go to the upscale downtown shops to check out the crafts and antiques. I’m not a shopper. I can only last so long before I get cranky and start to look at my watch. I get lost. I buy a ridiculously expensive, poorly made scarf. I curse my impulsive tendencies.
- 5:00 PM: The Emotional Rollercoaster of a Spa Visit. The hotel's spa? Divine. Seriously, pure bliss. They offer a massage, and then I am transported to another plane of existence. The stress of the journey melts away, and I emerge feeling like a new person.
- 7:00 PM: The Search for Dinner – A Minor Crisis of Taste. After a full day of hiking, my appetite is enormous. I'm tempted to go back to the hotel, as it is much easier, but after that pizza and biscuit, I have to go out. I'm determined to unearth a truly memorable meal.
- 9:00 PM: Room Service, Revenge, and a Very Late Night. Fine. Room service it is. I order the burger. Surprisingly, it’s… decent. I end the night with a trash TV binge, eating potato chips, and feeling surprisingly content.
Day 3: Departure – A Bitter Farewell, and Planning the Return
- 7:00 AM: Coffee Redemption. I managed to make my way to a local shop finally! The strong, delicious coffee makes me feel like a functioning human again.
- 8:00 AM: The Final Mountain Gaze. I settle by the window for the final hours of the trip and reflect on the last few days with the mountains in front of me.
- 11:00 AM: Goodbye, Asheville! As I check out, I realize: this trip wasn't perfect. There were questionable meals, moments of shopping-induced panic, and a near-constant struggle to find good coffee. But there were also moments of pure joy: the breathtaking hikes, the moments in the spa, the unexpectedly delicious burger. It was real. It was messy. It was human.
- 12:00 PM: The Drive Home – Already Planning the Return. As I reluctantly put the rental car in drive, I am already craving my return to Asheville. My mind is already working on the next time I can get here, and this time, I will come more prepared!
So there you have it, folks! The unvarnished truth about my Asheville adventure. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't perfect. But it was unforgettable. And yeah, I'd go back in a heartbeat. Now if only I could bring a decent coffee machine with me…
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Asheville Escape: Crowne Plaza Resort - Let's Get Real! (Because Perfection is Bullshit)
Okay, Spill. Is the Crowne Plaza Asheville REALLY Luxurious? Or is it, you know… *hotel*?
Alright, let's be brutally honest. "Luxury" gets thrown around like confetti. Is the Asheville Crowne Plaza *ultra-luxe*, like, private butler and gold-plated toilet paper kind of luxe? Nope. But is it a solid, comfortable, and yeah, maybe a smidge of *actual* luxury? Yeah, probably.
The rooms are decent-sized, the beds are comfy (I actually slept *really* well, which is a miracle), and the bathrooms? They *mostly* work. Okay, fine, the shower pressure was a bit…wimpy. But hey, you can't win 'em all, right? For me, the real luxury was the *absence* of screaming kids at 3 AM (a major win).
**Anecdote:** Remember that time I was trying the jacuzzi in the spa where all the jets were broken and the water was freezing? I'm afraid not...but the hot tub by the pool was pretty great. It was a warm evening after a long day of hiking in the Blue Ridge. That felt luxurious.
That Pool... Is It As Instagram-Worthy As It Looks? Because Filters Lie.
The pool area *is* pretty gorgeous. Seriously. Think sweeping views, the mountains in the distance, and…well, a lot of people. It's a popular spot.
**The Real Deal:** Yes, it's pretty. But *be prepared* for potential crowds. Finding a good spot to lounge can be a competitive sport. And look, let's be real, the water isn't exactly crystal clear. But it IS refreshing on a hot day, and the bar service is a lifesaver (because who wants to get up and go get their own margarita?). My honest opinion? It's worth the potential chaos. I mean, you're on vacation, you need a cocktail. Maybe a few.
Are the Restaurants Any Good? Because Hotel Food Can Be a Gamble.
Okay, let's address the elephant in the room: hotel restaurants. They can be…hit or miss. The Crowne Plaza actually has a few options, which is handy, especially if you're feeling lazy (and let's be honest, that's half the point of a vacation, right?).
**The Rambling Review:** I tried the fine dining place (forget the name, I was too busy enjoying my wine) and it was "fine." Not mind-blowing, but perfectly acceptable. The service was a little stiff, which is fine. If you're there for a romantic dinner, then a stiff waiter may be perfect. The bar/lounge, though? That’s where it’s at! Good food, good cocktails, and a far more relaxed vibe. Honestly, I basically lived there. The burgers are decent and there's the outdoor atmosphere is divine. And the breakfast buffet? Don't even get me started. It makes all of your childhood dreams come true.
**Pro Tip:** Consider venturing out into Asheville's amazing food scene. The city is packed with incredible restaurants. Skip hotel food unless you have to... and have a great time!
What About the Spa? Does it Live Up to the Hype?
Okay, I'm going to get super real here. I am a *massive* spa person. Massages, facials... if it promises relaxation, I'm there. The Crowne Plaza's spa? It’s a solid contender. However, I went for a massage. The massage therapist? She was okay. My biggest complaint? The pressure was definitely not enough. I politely asked if she could press harder, but nothing changed...which was rather disappointing because I really love to have the tension just melted away. I was expecting to leave feeling like a limp noodle; was not. On the plus side, the aromatherapy in the room was amazing. And the overall atmosphere? Calm, quiet, and blissfully dark.
**The Honest Truth:** The spa is a lovely experience, just don't go expecting total perfection. The biggest asset is the environment because the mountain views from the relaxation lounge are just gorgeous.
Is the Location Good for Exploring Asheville?
Yes and no. The Crowne Plaza is a little bit outside the *immediate* downtown area. It's not a hop, skip, and a jump to the breweries and shops.
**The Trade-Off:** But, it has the advantage of being closer to some of Asheville's natural attractions.. Plus, there's plenty of parking (a GOLDEN thing in Asheville, trust me). And it’s a reasonable distance from the Biltmore Estate (which is totally worth the visit, if you can handle the crowds ). You'll need a car or be happy with ride-sharing, so be prepared for some driving.
Any Quirks or Annoyances I Should Know About? Dish Me the Dirt!
Alright, alright, let's get to the juicy stuff. Every place has its quirks, and the Crowne Plaza is no exception.
**The Rambling Imperfections:** The elevators can be slow. Very slow. Especially during peak times. Be prepared to wait or embrace the stairs (if you're feeling ambitious). Also, the "free" Wi-Fi? Sometimes a little wonky. I ended up using my phone's hotspot for most of the trip. And the whole room, well, it smelled a bit… musty the first day. It went away, though. Still... Maybe open the window when you come in?
But these things weren't deal-breakers, mostly because the other aspects of the stay outshone the minor negatives.
Overall: Would You Recommend It?
Okay, final verdict time. Would I recommend the Crowne Plaza Asheville? Yes, but with a few caveats (which you already know!). It’s a comfortable hotel, with some lovely features, in a good location. It’s not perfect – what is? – but it’s a great base for exploring Asheville and the surrounding areas.
**My Emotional Reactor:** I had a genuinely good time! The pool area was great, and the bar was divine. The staff, in general, was super friendly and helpful. Would I go back? Absolutely. And that says something. It's a good escape...even with the imperfect moments. And sometimes, the imperfections are the best memories of all.
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