Newport News Airport Courtyard: Your Perfect Stay Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving DEEP into a hotel review, the kind that doesn’t just tell you about the amenities, it shows you the soul-crushing realities of the tiny, slightly-too-firm pillows and the questionable coffee that’s probably been brewing since the Clinton administration. Buckle up for a rollercoaster of opinions, frustrations, and maybe a few genuine moments of hotel-induced bliss.
Overall Impression: (Un)Expected… Mostly aight.
Let's just say, this place wasn't a complete disaster, but it also wasn't the utopia of fluffy towels and perfectly poached eggs that the brochures promised. It was… a hotel. You know, one of those places that tries REALLY hard to be fancy, but you can always sense the lingering scent of bleach and desperation.
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- Keywords: Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Dining, Free Wi-Fi, Wheelchair Accessible, Hotel Amenities, Family-Friendly Hotel, COVID-19 Safety, [Hotel Name – *I'm not giving it the *real* name for… reasons…*], [City, Country – *Again, privacy!*].
- Meta Description: Honest and detailed review of a hotel, covering accessibility, amenities (including spa, pool, dining, and Wi-Fi), COVID-19 safety measures, and personal experiences. Read about the good, the bad, and the overwhelmingly beige.
Accessibility: Where "Accessible" Means…"We Tried?"
Okay, let’s be real. Accessibility is always a mixed bag. The website claimed to be wheelchair-friendly, which is great. And yes, there was an elevator, which is about half the battle. But navigating the sprawling lobby felt like an Olympic sport in a wheelchair. Tight turns, rogue flowerpots… I'm not gonna name names, but it was a bit of a challenge. I did see a wheelchair ramp but it still not very friendly.
On the plus side, the room itself was decently spacious. The bathroom had grab bars, which is a HUGE win (and a sign the world is slowly, painfully, becoming more accepting of us old folks with creaky joints). But the door handle, which I think was some sort of ornate, Victorian-era monstrosity, was a nightmare to open. Seriously, I nearly dislocated my shoulder.
(Emotional Response: Mildly annoyed but mostly relieved it wasn't a total disaster.)
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: I never check the restaurants, since I can't even walk through the lobby.
Wheelchair accessible: Mentioned above.
Internet Access: Free Wi-Fi – The Siren's Call of Connectivity
Right. Free Wi-Fi. Bless their hearts. The promise of it. The reality… well, let’s just say it made dial-up seem like a cutting-edge technological marvel. I spent more time staring at the spinning wheel of death than I did actually working. "Free" is a strong word. "Almost Free" more accurately describes this Wi-Fi.
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Lies! Or possibly, my room just had particularly bad luck with connectivity.
Internet: See above.
Internet [LAN]: Haven't tested this, as I was too busy banging my head against the Wi-Fi wall.
Internet services: See above
Wi-Fi in public areas: Ha! Good one.
(Emotional Response: Mostly exasperated. I needed to work, people! I had deadlines!)
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: The Promise of Pampering vs. the Reality of… Well, a Hotel
Alright, the spa. The spa! That's where things get interesting, right? The website promised an oasis of tranquility.
Body scrub: I didn't get it.
Body wrap: I didn't get it.
Fitness center: Walked by the gym, saw some people on treadmills, then ran screaming in horror. It was too… gymmey for me. I prefer my exercise to involve less spandex and more questionable life choices.
Foot bath: Didn't get it.
Gym/fitness: See above.
Massage: Ah, yes. The massage. This is where things took a turn. Picture this: I booked a massage, ready to be whisked away to a zen-like state of bliss. Instead, I got a masseuse who felt like she was trying to tenderize a particularly tough piece of steak. My back, after that encounter, felt like it had been through a… well, let’s just say it was an experience.
(Emotional Response: I was both amused and in a decent amount of pain.)
Pool with view: It had a pool, but I can't recall if it had a view. I was too busy trying not to drown the last time I tried to swim.
Sauna: Nope. Didn't brave the sauna.
Spa: See above.
Spa/sauna: See above.
Steamroom: See above.
Swimming pool: See above.
Swimming pool [outdoor]: See above.
(Emotional Response: Disappointment, mixed with a dash of, "Well, at least I survived.")
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-19 – The Great Sanitizing Frenzy
Okay, let’s give them credit where credit is due. This hotel was seriously committed to the whole COVID safety thing. Hand sanitizer dispensers were everywhere. The staff wore masks. They used anti-viral cleaning products. It was like living in a hospital, but with slightly more comfy chairs.
Anti-viral cleaning products: Yes!
Breakfast in room: Didn't get it.
Breakfast takeaway service: Sounds awesome.
Cashless payment service: Yes!
Daily disinfection in common areas: Yes.
Doctor/nurse on call: Didn't use it.
First aid kit: I didn't need it, thank god.
Hand sanitizer: Everywhere.
Hot water linen and laundry washing: Yes.
Hygiene certification: They probably had it.
Individually-wrapped food options: Yes.
Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly adhered to.
Professional-grade sanitizing services: Probably.
Room sanitization opt-out available: Possibly.
Rooms sanitized between stays: Hopefully.
Safe dining setup: They tried.
Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Seemed okay.
Shared stationery removed: Yes.
Staff trained in safety protocol: Probably.
Sterilizing equipment: Probably.
(Emotional Response: Reassured, but also a little bit exhausted by the constant sanitizing.)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Gastronomic Gauntlet
Alright, let's talk food. The hotel had several restaurants. My experience with food? Well. Let's say it's been a journey. This is where things get REALLY interesting. I'm a picky eater, but even I felt… underwhelmed.
A la carte in restaurant: Yes. I didn't try it, but it was there.
Alternative meal arrangement: Probably.
Asian breakfast: Nope.
Asian cuisine in restaurant: Nope.
Bar: I saw a bar, but frankly, after the Wi-Fi experience, I was too scared to order a drink. I was afraid it would just teleport away.
Bottle of water: I received a bottle of water at check-in, and that was the best experience of my stay.
Breakfast [buffet]: Ugh. The buffet! A sea of questionable choices. I ended up eating a dry croissant and some fruit. The fruit was good, they had melons! They were so good!
Breakfast service: See above.
Buffet in restaurant: See above.
Coffee/tea in restaurant: The coffee was… a crime against coffee.
Coffee shop: I saw a coffee shop, but given my earlier experience, I didn't dare.
Desserts in restaurant: Meh.
Happy hour: I missed happy hour.
International cuisine in restaurant: I didn't try it.
Poolside bar: See above.
Restaurants: Yes.
Room service [24-hour]: Yes, but after my Wi-Fi ordeal, I was too scared to order room service.
Salad in restaurant: Didn't try it.
Snack bar: The snack bar was just as bad as the restaurants.
Soup in restaurant: Didn't see it.
Vegetarian restaurant: None.
Western breakfast: See above.
Western cuisine in restaurant: See above.
(Emotional Response: Disappointment, bordering on despair. My taste buds staged a revolt after the second bland meal.)
Services and Conveniences: The Small Print of Hotel Life
These can be things you miss the very most! I'll cut this into sections.
Air conditioning in public area: Cold
Audio-visual equipment for special events: Probably available, I'm not sure!
Business facilities: None.
Cash withdrawal: Yes.
Concierge: Didn't reach out.
**Contactless
Escape to Dayton: Unwind at the Fairfield Inn & Suites Troy!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your perfectly-planned, Instagram-filtered travel guide. This is me, raw and unfiltered, dragging you kicking and screaming (figuratively, of course… mostly) through a potential trip to the Courtyard by Marriott Newport News Airport, Virginia. Consider yourselves warned.
The "I'm-Probably-Going-To-Forget-Something" Itinerary: Newport News Edition
Day 1: Arrival and the Quest for the Perfect Pillow (Or At Least One That's Not Flat)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Newport News/Williamsburg Intl. Airport (PHF). Okay, first things first: pray the baggage handlers haven't declared war on my suitcase. They always look like they're auditioning for a demolition derby with my precious cargo.
- Anecdote: Last time I flew, my suitcase arrived looking like it had a wrestling match with a rogue conveyor belt. Everything was intact… I think.
- 1:30 PM: Shuttle to the Courtyard. Now, this is where the battle for the perfect pillow begins. You know, the one that actually supports your neck and isn't basically a glorified beanbag? I’m convinced the hotel pillow conspiracy is real. They're all intentionally squishy.
- Quirky Observation: The airport shuttle driver will probably have more interesting stories than my entire life. Listen closely! They've seen it all.
- 2:00 PM: Check in. Try to look like I have my life together, even though the travel chaos has already started to unravel my carefully constructed facade. Request a room away from the ice machine. Seriously, sleep is sacred.
- Strong Emotional Reaction: If the room smells like stale air conditioning and despair, I WILL lodge a complaint. I deserve a decent room!
- 2:30 PM - 4:00 PM: Unpack (mostly). Scope out the room. Mentally catalog the minor imperfections - a slightly crooked picture frame, a questionable stain on the carpet. It's the little things that make a place feel… authentically lived-in, right? (Or, you know, budget-conscious).
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Quick walk about, maybe a quick dip in the pool. Or, you know, just a look. I’m not really of the sporty sort (though I did try to do yoga once. Let's just say my neighbor's dog was more graceful).
- 6:30 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant. This is always a gamble. Yelp reviews are my friend, but I'm still always a little nervous. Craving seafood - because, Virginia.
- Messy Structure Ramble: Okay, so dinner… do I go for the tried and true chain, or venture into the independent restaurant abyss? My stomach is usually the deciding factor. And let's be honest, sometimes a comforting plate of fries is exactly what the soul needs.
- 8:00 PM: Back at the hotel. The REAL battle for the perfect pillow commences. I'm talking a full-on pillow assessment, testing for firmness, fluffiness, and overall support. If I can't sleep, I will haunt the front desk.
Day 2: Maritime History and Potential Meltdowns
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. Ideally feeling refreshed after the pillow battle (we'll see!). Coffee and a quick look at emails. Try to ignore the "urgent" ones.
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. Pray the scrambled eggs aren't rubbery.
- Opinionated Language: Hotel breakfast is a necessary evil. It's fuel, not fine dining.
- 9:30 AM - 12:00 PM: Visit the Mariners' Museum and Park. I love maritime history, but I'm also prone to information overload. I want to see everything, read everything, and then my brain starts short-circuiting.
- Doubling Down on Experience: Okay, the Mariners' Museum. Get ready, world, because I am going to spend hours here. Ships, history, maps! I'm a sucker for old maps. I could easily get lost in the exhibits for the entire day. This is where my inner history nerd gets to shine! And I WILL take a picture of the boat. And the anchor. And everything else.
- 12:30 PM - 1:30 PM: Lunch. Probably a quick sandwich or something. Gotta refuel for more museum glory.
- 1:30 PM - 3:30 PM: Continue at the Mariners' Museum. Try to pace myself. But it never happens.
- 4:00 PM: Explore the park, I’m not sure if I have the energy. But… I might. If I still have legs.
- 6:00 PM: More Dinner. This will be a game-time call depending on my energy level. If I'm feeling like a complete slug, it's room service. Otherwise, I'll try another local place.
- 7:30 - 9:00 PM: Chill out, catch up on work, or just collapse in front of the TV. This is the wind-down, the emotional recovery.
Day 3: Departure and Farewell (for now)
- 7:00 AM: Wake up, maybe slightly groggy from the previous day's museum adventure. Coffee! The elixir of life!
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast, again. Hope the rubbery eggs haven't made a comeback.
- 9:00 AM: Check out. Cross my fingers everything went smoothly.
- 9:30 AM: Airport, drop off the car.
- 11:00 AM: Flight. Hope it’s not delayed!
Final Thoughts:
This itinerary is a suggestion, a guideline, a loose framework for what might happen. Expect the unexpected. Expect delays. Expect to have a slightly messy time. And that's okay. Embrace the imperfection. Laugh at the things that go wrong. Because in the end, it's the unexpected moments and the little screw-ups that make the best stories. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get a decent night's sleep. Wish me luck!
Sandy's BEST Extended Stay? Salt Lake City's Hidden Gem!
Alright, so the age-old question: online vs. phone call. Is it *really* easier to order pizza online? Ugh, the answer, my friends, is... *sometimes*. Look, I'm a creature of pure laziness, so you'd think "online" would be my jam, right? And it *is* when my brain is… let's just say, operating at 20% capacity. Like, post-work, face-planted-on-the-couch levels of tired. Click-click-click, done. Bliss. But then there's the *other* side. The side where technology decides to throw a spanner in the works. You know, the classic "website down," "server error," or the all-time favourite: "You have selected toppings of *pure chaos* and we're not sure how to process this request." And then there was the Great Pineapple Incident of '22. I was trying to order pizza online, simultaneously battling a toddler who'd discovered the magic of the coffee table (read: climbing) and answering a work email. I thought I carefully selected pepperoni, sausage, and... *something* green. Yeah, something green. Turns out, my toddler, in one glorious, accidental swipe of my phone, had added pineapple *and* mushrooms. (I *loathe* mushrooms.) The pizza arrived. The tears flowed. Never again. So, yeah. Sometimes easier. Sometimes, a culinary catastrophe.
Ah, the Siren's Song of the Customization Options! It's a beautiful, treacherous thing. Gluten-free crust? Check. Vegan cheese? Yep. Every conceivable vegetable, meat, and magical topping known to humanity? You betcha. It's like staring into a pizza-shaped abyss of potential. And you know what? I always *intend* to be adventurous. "Oh, I'll try the artichoke hearts this time! And maybe some jalapenos for a kick!" I tell myself. I bravely click and click, adding things, removing things, second-guessing everything. Then, after about ten minutes of intense pizza-related decision-making, I invariably end up back at… *cheese*. Cheese pizza. The culinary equivalent of a warm hug. I just can't help myself! It's too much pressure! My brain short-circuits. GIVE ME THE CHEESE!
Promo codes. Oh, the glorious, tantalizing, utterly *infuriating* promo codes. They dangle before you, promising untold savings, like the shimmering oasis in a cheesy, saucy desert. You *must* have them. You *deserve* them. Especially after the Great Pineapple Incident of '22, which, I'm still not over. The search begins! Scrolling through coupon websites, desperately googling phrases like "pizza place name promo codes free delivery," or worse, hoping the latest one will be valid. This is where time itself seems to warp. One minute, you're happily ordering pizza; the next thing you know, you've lost a solid twenty minutes of your life, your pizza is already half-cooked in the oven, and the promo code *doesn't work*. And then you're left with a sinking feeling of... *defeat*. The pizza arrives. You pay full price. The cheese is wonderful, the sauce is tangy. And you still *hate* pineapple. So, the promo codes are a mixed bag, but I still go for them.
Delivery times. Ah, yes. That shining beacon of hope, that promise of immediate gratification. The estimated time of arrival. The thing you obsessively refresh your order status for. The thing that *almost never* comes true. Honestly, I suspect delivery times are generated by throwing darts at a calendar. Or maybe they're just a cruel, cruel joke. "Your pizza will be delivered in 25-35 minutes!" the website chirps. An hour and a half later, you're staring at the inside of your fridge, contemplating eating a jar of pickles. Delivery times are a lottery. Sometimes, miracle of miracles, the pizza actually *does* arrive within the estimated timeframe. Other times? Well, let's just say it provides ample time for a deep, introspective dive into the meaning of life (or, you know, binge-watching another episode of that show you swore you'd quit). The worst? When it says "your pizza is out for delivery" for *an hour*. Does it have a flat tire? Is the driver stuck in a black hole? The suspense is *killing* me!
Tipping. The absolute *minefield* of the online pizza ordering experience. Do you tip before, after? A standard 15%, 20%? Or do I go above? Honestly, the tipping screen always gives me serious anxiety. Like, I *want* to tip generously! I *appreciate* the delivery person braving the elements! But if the pizza arrives lukewarm...if the driver's chewing gum... if the crust is, well, let's just say, not exactly crispy... that can absolutely affect my mood. I try to be fair. Delivery drivers are people too. They're probably dealing with traffic, grumpy customers, and the lingering smell of pepperoni all day. But, come on, people, a hot pizza is a *basic requirement*. So, yeah, tipping is a gamble. My mood depends on it. It's a high-stakes game of pizza-related emotional roulette.
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