Dunes Village Myrtle Beach: Your Dream Vacation Awaits!
Review of The [REDACTED Name] Hotel - A Rollercoaster of Luxury (and Slightly Smudged Windows)
Whew. Okay, deep breath. Just emerged from a four-day stay at The [REDACTED Name] hotel and… well, it was an experience. Let’s dive in, shall we? Because honestly, I need to unload. This place… it's a lot. Buckle up, buttercups.
Accessibility: The Good, The So-So, and the "Hmm, Interesting."
Right off the bat, they do claim to be wheelchair accessible. Score! But I'm not in the market for a wheelchair at this moment, so I can't fully vouch for the nitty-gritty details. They've got elevators, which is a huge plus. However, I noticed a few… shall we say… minor hiccups in the overall design. Like, the ramp leading to the outdoor pool area? A tad steep, if you ask me. Still, big points for trying.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Didn't fully check, but they are claimed to be there.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Misstep)
Oh, the food. Where do I even begin?
- Restaurants: Several. Several restaurants. A buffet, a la carte options, a veggie restaurant that I ended up loving (more on that later), and a main restaurant that offered both Asian and Western cuisine. I'd argue that the place is huge just with the space for each and every restaurant!
- Asian Breakfast: Seriously, incredible. The dim sum was divine. Absolutely, undeniably delicious. But… and this is a big but… the scrambled eggs were… let's just say they weren’t quite up to Michelin star standards. More like… "hotel-cooked." Still filled me up!
- Western Breakfast: The pancakes, oh, the pancakes! Fluffy, golden, and decadent. A complete contrast from the eggs!
- Buffet: The sheer volume of food at the buffet was overwhelming. I mean, the choices were endless. Too many, in fact. I found myself wandering around, eyes bugging out, like a kid in a candy store (except the candy was… well, everything).
- Coffee/Tea in Restaurant: Yeah, alright. Standard hotel coffee. Nothing to write home about. The tea selection, however, was decent.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service: These are all available and great!
- Desserts in restaurant: Yessss! The desserts! The chocolate mousse nearly pushed me over the edge of pure happiness.
- International cuisine in restaurant: So many options… so little stomach. This is a good thing.
- Poolside bar, Snack bar: Did it exist? Yes. Did I utilize it? You bet.
- Room service [24-hour]: This is a winner. I ordered a club sandwich at 3 AM one night. Pure, unadulterated bliss.
- Vegetarian restaurant: This is where the magic really happened. I am not a vegetarian, but the veggie restaurant at the hotel? Mind. Blown. I ordered the eggplant parmesan; it was genuinely one of the best things I've ever eaten.
- Bottle of water, Essential condiments: Always available and appreciated.
Dining, drinking, and snacking – The heart of the hotel.
What's to Do? Oh, Just EVERYTHING.
Listen, this hotel is packed.
Things to do, ways to relax: I wouldn't say there's nothing to do here.
Pool with view: Stunning! Especially at sunset. Absolutely Instagram-worthy.
Swimming pool [outdoor], Swimming pool: Both were clean and well-maintained. Perfect for a relaxing dip.
Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom: Ah, the spa. Let's get into this.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage: The spa was incredible. The massage? The hands of the masseuse were pure witchcraft. Every knot, every tension – gone! I felt like a limp noodle afterward. In a good way.
- Foot bath: A nice touch.
Fitness center, Gym/fitness: The gym was… well-equipped. I didn’t actually use it, but it looked impressive from the outside.
Bar, Happy hour: The bar was lively, especially during happy hour. The cocktails were a bit pricey, but the atmosphere was fun.
For the kids, Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Seemed great for families. Loads of kids running around!
Internet & Connectivity: The Modern Struggle
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Hooray! And it worked, most of the time.
- Internet: Decent. But sometimes, the connection would… hiccup.
- Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas: Pretty standard.
- Room sanitization opt-out available Nice!
Cleanliness and Safety: They're Trying (Really)
Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room: the post-pandemic world.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: They went all out. Sanitizer stations everywhere. Staff masked up and ready. It felt safe.
- Safe dining setup: Tables were spaced out, which was a relief.
- Hand sanitizer, First aid kit: Available as needed.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Excellent.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Good to know.
Services and Conveniences: The Extras That Matter
- Air conditioning in public area, Air conditioning: Essential.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events, Outdoor venue for special events, Indoor venue for special events: They seemed well-equipped for events.
- Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace: The hotel has everything imaginable and it actually works!
- Contactless check-in/out, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]: Nice and easy.
- Cashless payment service: Appreciated.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Useful.
Available in all rooms: The Nitty Gritty of the Living Space
This is where things got… interesting.
- Additional toilet: Not in my room, unfortunately.
- Alarm clock, Desk, Extra long bed, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Linens, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Scale, Seating area, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service: All present and accounted for.
- Air conditioning, Blackout curtains, Bathtub, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. The essentials were there which I liked.
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: The bed was seriously comfortable. The only problem? The
Alright, buckle up buttercups! We're diving headfirst into a week at Dunes Village, Myrtle Beach, and trust me, it's gonna be a glorious, messy, sunscreen-smeared adventure. This isn't your perfectly planned itinerary. This is real life.
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Towel Mishap (aka, I'm Already Sweating…and Not Just From the Humidity)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Dunes Village. Ugh. The drive. Let's just say my GPS has a vendetta against me. Finally, we made it. Lugging luggage felt like a Herculean task. First impressions? Massive. Almost intimidatingly so.
- 1:30 PM: Check-in. Success! Except…the room key card refused to work. Twice. Eventually, a very patient (and probably slightly judging) front desk worker got us sorted.
- 2:00 PM: Pool Obsession Commences. Kids are already screaming with glee. I, on the other hand, am searching for a decent spot near a pool bar. This is crucial.
- An Unexpected Crisis: The Great Towel Mishap. Where ARE the towels? They have a perfectly good pool, but NO TOWELS! Panic sets in. We're stuck with soggy room towels as we bravely make our way to the pool bar.
- 2:30 PM: First cocktail: Check! The pool bar is a beacon of hope. Feeling better already. The kids are splashing in the water park (that feels bigger than my apartment) and, honestly, I'm considering joining them. Almost.
- 4:00 PM: Exploring the Resort. Dunes Village is HUGE. We're talking two towers connected by a bridge. I'm already lost. I'm pretty sure I saw a mime.
- 6:00 PM: Pizza night at the resort's restaurant. My expectations were low. Turns out, it's… surprisingly decent! My son, however, has decided pizza is now his arch enemy.
- 7:00 PM: Bedtime routine. The kids are exhausted. I'm not too far behind. The view from the balcony is pretty spectacular, though. The ocean is a calming presence, and the stars are starting to twinkle.
Day 2: Sun, Sand, and Questionable Beach Decisions
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Ugh. The humidity is already doing its best to make my hair defy gravity. It's a losing battle.
- 8:30 AM: Breakfast at the resort. The buffet. The kids are in heaven. I'm trying to resist the allure of endless bacon. Failing.
- 9:30 AM: Beach time! We trek down to the beach, equipped with sunscreen, hats, and enough sand toys to rival a small construction site. The wind. The sand. Bliss!
- 10:00 AM: Beach Antics and a Stubborn Sunscreen Struggle. My sunscreen application skills are apparently rusty (or non-existent). I'm already burning. The kids, on the other hand, are happily building sandcastles, even though the tide keeps demolishing them.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. Beachside hotdogs. Sand in everything.
- 1:00 PM: Second round of pool fun. More water park mayhem. (I'm getting dangerously close to riding a slide.)
- 3:00 PM: A wild card. This is where the whole beach trip went sideways. I thought the kids were happy in the pool. Then, they ask me to go on the beach again. I want to say no. My skin is burning. But, alas, that's when the kids found a HUGE shell. It turned into a whole quest as the tide washes it away, and we would try again to get it. The kids were having fun!
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local seafood restaurant. I'm craving some legit seafood, not the resort grub. The fried shrimp is a gift from the gods. The kids? They are mostly eating the fries.
- 8:00 PM: Ice-cream run. You can't come to the beach and not have ice cream. End of discussion.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime again. I'm hoping for a solid night of sleep. Maybe the vacation is hitting me already.
Day 3: The Day I Became a Pirate (and Questioned My Life Choices)
- 9:00 AM: Sleep in! The siren song of the sun finally caught up to me.
- 10:00 AM: Breakfast. More buffet shenanigans. Is there a limit to how much cereal a person can eat? I'm determined to find out.
- 11:00 AM: Mini Golf. Of course, there's mini golf. And of course, I lost. Badly. My competitive spirit is crushed.
- 1:00 PM: Pirate's Voyage Dinner & Show. This is it. This is the peak of my questionable vacation choices. A dinner theater involving pirates, acrobats, and… wait for it… animals. I was skeptical.
- 1:30 PM: The show starts. I'm still skeptical. The pirate show is over-the-top, and cheesy. The acrobatics are impressive. The horse and duck are unexpectedly charming. I'm laughing. I'm having a ridiculous amount of fun. I'm also eating a questionable amount of chicken and biscuits.
- 3:00 PM: The show ends. I'm changed. I'm not sure how, but I am. I'm contemplating whether I can pull off an eye patch.
- 6:00 PM: Back at the resort. Pool time. Because why not?
- 8:00 PM: Movie night in the room. Popcorn, blankets, and a desperate attempt to get the kids to actually watch the movie instead of running around.
Day 4: Rollercoaster, Retail Therapy, and Regret (Maybe)
- 9:00 AM: Brunch at the resort. We have the buffet master plan down.
- 11:00 AM: Broadway at the Beach. Shopping time. Window shopping for me, the kids.
- 2:00 PM: Rollercoaster. I'm brave.
- 4:00 PM: Back to Dunes Village, Pool time. The kids want to come to the beach.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. We have a few seafood restaurants in mind.
- 8:00 PM: Stargazing from the balcony.
Day 5: Beach, Pool, and the Endless Pursuit of Relaxation (Or Maybe Just a Nap)
- 9:00 AM: Sleep in. This is the life.
- 10:00 AM: Resort. The resort is our friend.
- 12:00 PM: Beach. Because, why not?
- 2:00 PM: Pool. The kids are happy.
- 5:00 PM: Dinner. A simple meal.
- 8:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 6: The Day EVERYTHING Fell Apart (and It Was Still Wonderful)
- 8:00 AM: Alarm fails to go off. I wake up in a panic.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast is rushed.
- 10:00 AM: Beach. The sand is still there. It still feels magical.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. The kids fight over the last chicken nugget.
- 1:00 PM: The day is so far off the planned path.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner.
- 8:00 PM: Bedtime.
Day 7: Goodbye, Dunes Village (and Please, Let Me Sleep)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Last buffet hurrah! I’ll miss the endless coffee.
- 10:00 AM: Packing. The dreaded task. How did we accumulate so much stuff?
- 12:00 PM: One last dip in the pool. Hugs.
- 1:00 PM: Check-out. Successfully! No lost room keys this time.
- 1:30 PM: Tears. I'm sad to leave.
- 2:00 PM: Road trip.
This isn't just a vacation. It's a testament to the resilience of the human spirit (and the power of caffeine). Until next time, Myrtle Beach!
Salmon Arm Getaway: Unbeatable Travelodge Deals!
1. What *exactly* is this all about? I'm lost already.
Ugh, good question. It's like... you know when you're trying to explain something and it just *flops*? That's how I feel right now. Basically, we're supposed to be answering frequently asked questions. But, like, not the boring, professionally-crafted kind. Think more... spilled coffee on a Tuesday morning. See, I was *supposed* to be making these FAQs for something. But now? We're just gonna see where it goes. Hopefully, it'll be both helpful and somewhat hilarious. Or at least... digestible. It's all a giant experiment!
2. Okay, okay, I *think* I get it. So, what's the biggest hurdle? I mean, the *real* one.
Oh, man. The biggest hurdle? My own brain, honestly. It's a chaotic mess of squirrels and half-formed ideas. Trying to wrangle it into something remotely coherent is like herding cats... but the cats are also on fire. Just ask my therapist, who is probably reading this and already preparing for next week's session.
3. But *why* the stream-of-consciousness thing? Isn't that, like, the opposite of helpful?
You know what? You're not wrong. It's probably *terrible* for SEO. But, and this is going to sound incredibly pretentious, the goal is to be *real*. Life isn't a perfectly formatted blog post, is it? It's rambling, contradictory, filled with tangents, and sometimes, completely and utterly ridiculous. Hopefully, within the chaos, we stumble upon something of value. Or at least, something that's relatable. I'm hoping that if I sound like a human, instead of a textbook – then people will connect with me more.
4. Are you... are you feeling okay right now? You seem a little... intense.
Intense? Me? Nah. Just... fuelled by caffeine and a deep-seated need to not be boring. And maybe a tiny, tiny bit of existential dread, which, you know, is perfectly normal. Wait, is that *not* normal? Anyway, there was this one time...Okay, back to the point. There's intensity in my writing, and a feeling that I'd like to share with the rest of the world.
5. What's Your Favorite Color?
Okay, okay, this is a softball, and I *love* it. Depends! Does my favorite color depend on the season? Yes? Okay, right now, I'm really vibing with a sort of dusty rose. It's not too girly, not too... bright. Gives a good feeling, and also makes me feel like I can handle some bad stuff from time to time. I love it.
6. This is too chaotic! Can you just... answer a simple question, dammit?
Alright, alright, fine! Let's try to be succinct. Question: What's the best thing that's ever happened to you? Answer: Probably when I ate that entire pizza by myself last Saturday. No regrets.
7. What is something weird you believe in?
That's easy! Okay, so I fully believe that if you are really nice to people, and also buy that nice, warm and comfy bath robe, then your life will be more content overall. Because, if you are, good stuff happens. Maybe it's the bath robe, maybe it's the good energy, maybe it's just that you haven't slept for a whole week. It all counts!
8. What's the most embarrassing thing that's *ever* happened to you? Come on, spill the beans!
Ugh, okay, you asked for it. This one time, RIGHT? I was giving a presentation at this event, and I was feeling super confident, like, "Yeah, me! Look at me! Public speaking is my thing!" And then... my pants split right down the seam. Not a little rip, mind you. A full-blown, "Hello, world! My underwear!" kind of split. I'd like to quickly add that this was *years* ago! I've gotten better about... well, everything. But the memory? It's burned into my brain forever. So, yeah, that's up there. Anyway, I'm over it now. (I'm not.)
9. What are your biggest pet peeves?
Oh, honey. Where do I even begin? People who chew loudly. Slow walkers. People who hog the entire sidewalk. People who use the word "literally" incorrectly. People who don't return their shopping carts. But, like, my *biggest* pet peeve? Inaction! I would rather *do* anything than sit and do nothing. But, that is a problem for another day, I suppose.
10. Okay, okay. How do I make sure I don't end up like you?
Oh, you are asking the true question. Well, if you don't want to end up… like this? Try to find a balance. Don't let your brain overthink everything. Don't be embarrassed if you mess up. And for the love of all that is holy, take a nap when you need to. (I probably should have done that before writing this). Keep going, and hopefully, you'll be just fine!
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