Escape to Columbus: Your Perfect Hawthorn Extended Stay Awaits!
Okay, Deep Breath… My Chaotic Dive into [Hotel Name – Let's Pretend it's "The Azure Abyss"]
Right, listen up, because I just clawed my way out of the Azure Abyss, and let me tell you, it was… an experience. I'm gonna try to be helpful with this review, but my brain is still swimming in pool chlorine and the ghost of a lukewarm latte. So, bear with me. Let’s get this messy, okay?
(SEO Snippet – Just So Google Knows I'm Trying) : The Azure Abyss Hotel Review: Accessibility, Spa, Dining, Amenities. Wheelchair-friendly, Wi-Fi, Pool with a View. A detailed and honest review of [Hotel Name] including pros, cons, and real-life experiences. Family-friendly, pet-friendly, plus all the good stuff.
The Accessibility Nightmare (Or, How I Almost Became a Permanent Resident of the Lobby):
First off, accessibility. This is where the Azure Abyss teetered on the brink of "utterly frustrating." They say they're wheelchair-friendly. They say they have facilities for disabled guests. But… I saw it firsthand when my Aunt Mildred, bless her heart and her mobility scooter, needed to navigate. The ramp to the lobby was okay. The elevator worked, eventually. But finding a route to the on-site accessible restaurants/lounges? Forget it. Navigating the maze of hallways to find a simple cup of coffee was an Olympic sport. Seriously, I swear I saw Mildred’s scooter do a pirouette trying to avoid a rogue potted palm.
And the wheelchair accessibility? Well, let's just say some doorways were whispering, "Nope, not today." My best advice? Call ahead, multiple times, and be prepared to advocate for yourself. This wasn't a disaster, but it was definitely a work in progress.
Internet - A Love/Hate Affair:
Okay, the free Wi-Fi in all rooms! score? Pretty good. Fast, reliable, and I could finally upload my Instagram stories of the, uh, "pool with a view" (more on that later). Internet [LAN] was… something. I honestly didn't try to use it. Internet services were all there ready to go. A little like the forgotten cousin at the Christmas dinner.
Things to Do (Besides Wondering Where the Hell You Are):
Alright, let's talk about the fun stuff. The oretically fun stuff. The fitness center was… well, it existed. I peeked in. Looked clean. I saw treadmills. That's about all I can say. Frankly, after dodging the potted plants, I needed a stiff drink more than a jog.
The spa – now we’re talking! I mean, that’s where you can let yourself go. I actually got myself a body scrub and a massage. The massage was… divine. Truly, the only thing I remember from the afternoon was the faint scent of eucalyptus. Bliss. They also had a steamroom, a sauna, and a *foot bath– didn't get to the foot bath, though, as the spa staff was super friendly and made sure to take it easy when I felt like I was about to drift off. *Pool with a view* was awesome, beautiful even, but the water was a little colder than I would've thought.
Cleanliness and Safety: The Sanitizing Saga:
In a post-pandemic world, cleanliness and safety are paramount, right? The Azure Abyss seemed to take it seriously. They claimed to use anti-viral cleaning products. They had hand sanitizer everywhere. Daily disinfection in common areas. Rooms sanitized between stays. Felt pretty secure, and even though the room sanitization opt-out available, it was easy to feel protected. It's what I was hoping for. The staff was absolutely on top of their game when it came to safety.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Adventures (and Misadventures):
Ah, food, the universal language of comfort (and sometimes, disappointment). Let's break it down.
I didn’t get a chance to try Asian cuisine in restaurant. Restaurants were plentiful. I managed to sample the breakfast [buffet] – it was…buffet-y. Lots of options, some good, some… less so. The desserts in restaurant looked tempting, but trust me, my waistline said no. Had a coffee/tea in restaurant which was fine. I got a bottle of water. I got some salad in restaurant, because, well, you gotta try at least one healthy thing, right? The lack of soup in restaurant and vegetarian restaurant options (that I could see) was a bummer. No Happy hour.
The Room service [24-hour] was a godsend after a day of dodging potted plants and navigating the spa.
Services and Conveniences: The Perks and Quirks:
Okay, the usual suspects were present: Air conditioning in public area (thank goodness). Concierge was helpful, but not quite as on-the-ball when it came to navigating the "accessible" aspect. Daily housekeeping was efficient. Doorman was always there with a smile (even when I was struggling with my overstuffed bags). Elevator - bless it. The Gift/souvenir shop was overpriced.
For the Kids: A Mixed Bag:
I didn’t bring any kids, but I saw a fair few running around. The presence of babysitting service is a big advantage. Kids facilities were… present. The Kids meal options were good too, I thought.
Available in All Rooms: The Essentials (and the Extra Fun Stuff):
Right, let’s talk about the rooms themselves. I got a perfectly serviceable room. Very comfortable, actually.
- Air conditioning: Essential!
- Alarm clock: (It actually worked!)
- Bathrobes: Soft and fluffy, a definite win.
- Bathroom phone: Never needed it, but hey, options.
- Bathtub: Ah, soak-worthy bliss.
- Blackout curtains: Crucial for sleeping off a heavy lunch.
- Closet: Enough space for all my questionable packing choices.
- Coffee/tea maker: My daily salvation.
- Complimentary tea: Nice touch.
- Desk: Fine.
- Extra long bed: Awesome!!!
- Free bottled water: Always appreciated.
- Hair dryer: Saved me.
- In-room safe box: Never used it.
- Internet access – wireless: Wi-Fi, yesssss.
- Ironing facilities: Didn't use them.
- Laptop workspace: Adequate.
- Linens: Clean and comfy.
- Mini bar: Tempting but over priced.
- Non-smoking: Thank goodness.
- Private bathroom: Obviously.
- Reading light: Good to have.
- Refrigerator: Useful for stashing snacks.
- Satellite/cable channels: Fine.
- Seating area: Cozy.
- Separate shower/bathtub: Nice.
- Shower: Works.
- Slippers: Always a welcome touch.
- Smoke detector: Hopefully working.
- Sofa: Comfy.
- Soundproofing: Surprisingly good.
- Telephone: Never used.
- Toiletries: Standard.
- Towels: Sufficient.
- Wake-up service: Never used it.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Yes!
(SEO Recap – Just in Case): The Azure Abyss Hotel: Review. Accessibility, spa, and dining experiences. Room amenities, cleanliness, and staff performance. Honest, detailed review with pros and cons.
Final Verdict: The Azure Abyss – A Mixed Bag with Potential:
Look, the Azure Abyss isn't a disaster. The Staff trained in safety protocol, Staff trained in safety protocol, was truly fantastic. The spa experience was genuinely lovely. The rooms, while not perfect, were comfortable. But the accessibility issues, the hit-or-miss dining options, and the slightly labyrinthine layout… well, they left something to be desired.
Overall, I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars. With a few tweaks, it has the potential to be amazing! But for now… it’s an adventure.
Would I go back? Hmm… maybe, if they fix those accessibility issues and maybe, just maybe, add a decent soup option. And please, for the love of all that is holy, get some better signage!
Escape to Texas Paradise: Mustang Inn & Suites Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. We're talking a Hawthorn Suites by Wyndham Columbus West adventure, and trust me, it's going to be… well, something. Here's the plan, or at least, the idea of a plan. Prepare for chaos.
Day 1: Arrival & Questionable Life Choices (Columbus West, Ohio)
3:00 PM - Check-In at the Hawthorn Suites: Okay, first impressions. Let's be brutally honest. "Extended Stay" sounds a teensy bit like a holding pen for people who've made some… choices. The lobby? Clean-ish. The smell? Neutral, which is a victory in itself. My room key card already acted up twice. I swear, I heard a tiny, defeated sigh from the lock. This is off to a fantastic start.
3:30 PM - Unpack and Assess the Situation: The room. Ah, the room. It's… functional. The kitchenette looks like it survived a minor apocalypse. Let's be real, I'm not exactly Martha Stewart, and the microwave has seen some things. There's a faint, lingering smell of… what is that? Possibly the ghost of a thousand reheated frozen dinners. I decide to ignore it and focus on the sheer, glorious freedom of a king-sized bed. The only thing missing is a good book (and maybe a hazmat suit).
4:00 PM - Grocery Run of Despair: Okay, time to face the music. A quick trip to the nearest grocery store. I'm thinking… snacks. Lots of snacks. Chips are obviously essential. Also… ramen. Because when in doubt, ramen. I find the local Walmart and walk slowly down all aisle, feeling a little sad.
6:00 PM - Culinary Disaster (and Recovery): Time to cook… in truth, I meant time for the microwave. This is where the ramen comes in. The instructions are straightforward. But I am not. I manage to almost set the room on fire trying to boil the water. After a few minutes in the cold, I finally got the perfect ramen.
7:00 PM - Evening Entertainment (and Existential Dread): Okay, the TV. Endless scrolling. I decide to watch a rerun. I hate reality shows but I turn it on. I am getting sleepy and turn off the TV. I fell asleep and slept so deep I missed most of the night.
Day 2: Columbus Encounters & Questionable Adventures
9:00 AM - Breakfast of Champions (aka Complimentary "Continental"): I drag myself to the free breakfast. The "continental" buffet: bagels so dense they could double as building materials, stale cereal, and coffee that tastes suspiciously like burned rubber. But hey, it’s free! I find a table and watch the other guests, a fascinating mix of bleary-eyed business travelers and folks who, like me, probably need a vacation from their vacation.
10:00 AM - "Exploring Columbus" (aka Getting Lost): Oh boy. I decide to venture forth into the wild. I've plotted a course to the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium. I am pretty sure I went the wrong way. I was getting close to the zoo and when I finally made it. I decide to visit the zoo.
12:00 PM - Zoo Delight and Disappointment: The Columbus Zoo is pretty great, actually. The elephants are majestic, the monkeys are mischievous… and the sea lion show is the highlight. It was pretty emotional, honestly. A good time.
2:00 PM - Lunch and Regroup: I grabbed a quick bite to eat. Nothing stellar. I will eat anything at this point.
3:00 PM - Drive back to the hotel. I am exhausted. I think the Zoo and the city drained me.
4:00 PM - Nap: I fall asleep after all the action.
6:00 PM - "Dinner" and Reflection: I order delivery because the microwave experience traumatized me. Thinking about everything now. "What am I doing with my life?". All deep thoughts. But it's a comfort.
7:00 PM - TV and Sleep: I watch my favorite show and fall asleep.
Day 3: Departure & Last-Minute Regrets
9:00 AM - That Breakfast Again… Coffee and a desperate attempt to get a slightly less fossilized bagel. I'm starting to recognize some of the other breakfast regulars. We share a nod of weary camaraderie.
10:00 AM - Last-Minute Room Scavenger Hunt: Where's my charger? And did I really leave my favorite socks under the bed? The panic sets in.
11:00 AM - Check-Out & The Long Goodbye: Leaving the Hawthorn Suites. A wave of relief washes over me. I'm out. Freedom.
12:00 PM - The Road Ahead: I hit the road, and for the first time in a few days, I feel an honest-to-goodness, slightly hopeful feeling. Maybe this… was a good trip? Maybe.
Final Thoughts:
This trip was a mess. A beautiful, messy, slightly depressing, occasionally hilarious mess. The Hawthorn Suites? Well, it was a place to rest my head. I've learned that I can survive on questionable coffee and ramen. And I'm pretty sure I've seen the world… or at least, a small corner of it. Now, where is the next adventure?
Kerrville Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at La Quinta Inn & Suites!
Alright, Let's Tackle My Glorious (& Sometimes Disastrous) Life... in FAQs!
Ugh, What *is* it you actually *do*? Besides constantly posting on social media about your *totally* fascinating life.
So, you're *really* into [Minor category about hobbies, interests, etc.]? Tell me more! (And try not to bore me.)
What's the *weirdest* thing that's ever happened to you? C'mon, dish!
What are your biggest regrets? (Be honest. And try not to cry.)
Tell me about a time you completely failed. And what did you learn from that?
What's your guilty pleasure? (Don't be shy!)
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