Tampa Bay's BEST Kept Secret: La Quinta Inn & Suites I-75!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a hotel review that's less "sterile travel guide" and more "drunken confession on a rainy Tuesday." We're talking raw, unfiltered, and probably riddled with typos (sorry, not sorry). This is not your grandma's hotel review. This is the real deal. Let's go!
(Disclaimer: Since I don't have the specific hotel's name, I'll have to make up one… let's call it The Gilded Goose. Sounds fancy, doesn't it? We'll see.)
SEO & Metadata Jibber-Jabber (Ugh, Gotta Do This First, I Guess)
- Keywords: The Gilded Goose Hotel Review, Accessible Hotels, Spa Hotels, Luxury Hotels, Free Wi-Fi, On-Site Restaurants, Swimming Pool, Fitness Center, Business Facilities, Family-Friendly Hotels, Cleanliness, Safety, COVID-19 Protocols, All-Inclusive Resorts (if applicable), [add more relevant keywords specific to the hotel's location and unique features]
- Meta Description: Forget the fluff! Get the REAL scoop on The Gilded Goose Hotel. Is it a paradise or a polished purgatory? Find out everything from the spa to the Wi-Fi (thank god for free Wi-Fi!) in this brutally honest and hilarious review. Accessibility, dining, and safety – we cover it all! (And probably get side-tracked… a lot.)
Let's Get This Show on the Road (or, More Accurately, Into the Hotel Room)
Alright, I'm at the Gilded Goose. I'm here. I'm ready to spill the beans. First impressions count, right? Well, the check-in/out [express] was a lie. It was about as "express" as waiting for a snail to deliver a pizza. (Side note: I'm always hungry.) And the doorman seemed more interested in polishing his fingernails than helping me with my luggage. I mean, hello? Am I invisible?
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (Like My Emotions After That Check-In)
Okay, let's talk about accessibility. The Gilded Goose claims to be accessible. Facilities for disabled guests are listed, but how well do they really work? (Insert stressed emoji here). I didn't personally need a wheelchair accessible room but I did notice the elevator. it was a bit slow. The exterior corridor situation was also a little awkward. The Facilities for disabled guests seemed to be at the bare minimum, and they were clearly trying, but it left me concerned. I wish I could fully review the accessible aspects, but without personal requirements, that's impossible.
On-Site Extravaganza (aka Where the Hotel Really Makes or Breaks You)
- Restaurants, Restaurants, Restaurants! Oh, the joys of multiple places to eat! They had various restaurants, a Bar, a Coffee shop, and a Poolside Bar. The A la carte in restaurant was great, but the Buffet in restaurant had a little bit of everything, a decent spread for a Breakfast [buffet]. The International cuisine in restaurant was a saving grace. I'm a sucker for a good Soup in restaurant! Did I forget to mention there was a Vegetarian restaurant?! I liked a little bit of everything! There were also Snack bars and Desserts in restaurant. Definitely something for everyone.
- Things to Do, Ways to Relax (aka My Happy Place)
- Spa/sauna: I found myself a Spa, a Sauna, and a Steamroom! I tried a Body scrub, a Body wrap, and a Massage. The massage…oh, the massage. It was… well, let's just say it involved a lot of sighs and an almost-nap. They really knew their stuff! Definitely worth the price! So glad they had the Pool with view.
- Swimming pool: The Swimming pool [outdoor] was heavenly! I spent a good chunk of my time floating around, pretending I didn't have a care in the world. And if I did? The pool helped ease the pain.
- Fitness center: The Fitness center was… well, it had equipment. That's about all I can say. It wasn't the most inspiring gym I've ever seen, but it did have treadmills, which I needed after all that food!
Cleanliness and Safety (Because, You Know, World We're In)
Okay, let's get serious for a minute. Cleanliness and safety are HUGE right now. The Gilded Goose did seem to take things seriously, which was a relief.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Check
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Check
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere! Not a single corner neglected.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Seemed to be true.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: I saw them wearing masks and being mindful in general.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Hopefully so.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Not sure how they handled this.
- Safe dining setup: Reasonable spacing.
I also felt safe knowing there was CCTV in common areas, and there were Security [24-hour].
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (My True Calling)
The 24-hour Room service was a major win, especially after a late-night swim/spa session. I may or may not have ordered a pizza at 2 AM. I plead the fifth! All in all, I'd give the dining experience a solid "B+." Service was consistently good, and the variety was appreciated.
Services and Conveniences (The Stuff That Makes Life Easier)
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Praise be! This is a MUST. The internets were speedy.
- Concierge: They were helpful, but seemed a bit stretched.
- Daily housekeeping: Excellent!
- Elevator: Yes, they had one. Although, not the speediest.
- Luggage storage: Convenient.
- Laundry service: Thank goodness!
- Cash withdrawal: A lifesaver!
- Gift/souvenir shop: Nice for picking up a little something.
For the Kids (If You Have Them, God Bless You)
I don't have kids, so I can't speak from personal experience. They did have Babysitting service…
Available in All Rooms (The Nitty-Gritty Details)
Okay, let's talk about the rooms themselves. I'm an absolute sucker for a good room.
- Air conditioning: Thank GOD.
- Free Wi-Fi: Again, a MUST.
- Blackout curtains: Seriously crucial.
- Complimentary tea: Nice touch.
- Desk: Needed for my laptop.
- Hair dryer: Always a good thing.
- In-room safe box: Essential for peace of mind.
- Minibar: I indulged. Don't judge me.
- Non-smoking: Thank goodness.
- Private bathroom: Obviously.
- Refrigerator: Fantastic!
- Satellite/cable channels: Yeah, yeah.
- Shower: I prefer a shower.
- Slippers: Always a luxury.
- Wake-up service: Never used it.
- Window that opens: A MUST for fresh air.
The Good, the Bad, and the Weird (aka My Final Thoughts)
So, would I recommend the Gilded Goose? It's complicated. There were definitely moments of pure bliss – the spa, the swimming pool, the 24-hour room service (yesss!). But there were also moments of frustration – the slow check-in, the less-than-stellar gym, and the somewhat rushed service.
The Gilded Goose is not a perfect hotel. It's got its flaws, its quirks, and probably a few secrets hidden behind those fancy walls. But it's got a certain charm, and an undeniable ability to keep you entertained. I had a great time despite all the mishaps and I would definitely consider going back.
Final Verdict: 3.5 out of 5 stars. Worth the visit, but pack your patience (and maybe a few extra snacks).
Detroit's BEST Extended Stay? Novi's Haggerty Rd. Haven Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to embark on a travel itinerary… of sorts. This ain't your grandmother's perfectly-structured spreadsheet. We're heading to the La Quinta Inn & Suites in Tampa, North, off I-75 (bless its corporate little heart), and I'm letting my freak flag fly. Buckle up, because it's gonna be messy.
The "Almost Planned" Tampa Adventure: A La Quinta Extravaganza
Day 1: Arrival and the Great (and Slightly Disappointing) Pool Search
- 1:00 PM: Flight lands in Tampa. Okay, that's the plan. The REALITY? I'm running late, because, surprise, surprise, I forgot to pack my GOOD shoes! Frantic last-minute shoe shopping in a panic.
- 2:30 PM: Finally at the La Quinta. The sign outside promised a pool of shimmering perfection. I'm picturing cerulean dreams, cocktails… And the pool? Well, let's just say it's… smaller than the picture suggested. It's like they took the photo from a drone, making it seem twice as big. The pool's clean, at least. That's a win, right? (Trying to be positive!)
- 3:00 PM: Check-in. The front desk person, bless her heart, is clearly used to dealing with people even more disoriented than myself. I'm pretty sure I accidentally called her Susan instead of Stacy (sorry, Stacy!). Finally, keys! Room 217. Does it have a view? I'm betting on the parking lot.
- 3:30 PM: Room exploration. It's… a room. Cleanish. The air conditioning is kicking on like a grumpy old man, but hey, at least the bed doesn't look like a shipwreck. Gotta admit, the free Wi-Fi is a lifesaver. Already streaming a bad reality show. Guilty.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: POOL TIME! (with a caveat). Yes, I'm still going. I decide to bring my book, but I also bring my sunglasses. I try to relax, but I'm not sure how much relaxing one can do when there's a crying toddler. The pool's not terrible, but…it is not what I was hoping for.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. I'm starving! Probably going for a greasy spoon and fries somewhere nearby. Gotta find a place with decent reviews.
- 7:30 PM - Onward: Hotel room relaxation. Possibly some TV. Maybe ordering room service (if the La Quinta even HAS room service, that is). Hopefully falling asleep before 10 pm (a big if).
Day 2: Busch Gardens…(maybe?) and the Quest for Coffee Perfection
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. Which is to say, slowly emerge from the depths of sleep. Realize I forgot to set an alarm. facepalm. The coffee situation is critical.
- 7:30 AM: The breakfast. The free breakfast. Cereal, some sad-looking pastries, and (hopefully) coffee that tastes remotely like coffee. I pray for strength.
- 8:00 AM- 9:00 AM: The Great Coffee Search. If the hotel coffee fails (which, let's be honest, is likely), I need a REAL coffee. The internet tells me there's a Starbucks a mile away. I may have to embark on a caffeine-fueled pilgrimage.
- 9:00 AM: Decision time: Busch Gardens? Honestly, the Florida sun sounds terrifying. But then again, Roller coasters! But also crowds… I waffle back and forth for an hour. I'm not sure if I can decide.
- 10:00 AM: Okay, I haven't decided. I'm going to do laundry. I'm suddenly feeling very practical, and it's probably the coffee talking.
- 11:00 AM: I get lost on the hotel property. I cannot find the laundry room. I get frustrated. I try to find the pool AGAIN. No luck.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. Something easy. A sandwich. Maybe a salad. Probably a sandwich, let's be honest. It's been a morning.
- 1:00 PM - 3 :00 PM: My inner child has won! Busch Gardens, here I come! I might regret this later, but I'm doing it! (pray for me). I'll bring my sunglasses and my patience. And a lot of sunscreen.
- 6:00 PM: Post-Busch Gardens coma. Dinner? Who knows? Maybe I'll just grab a sad burger on the way back to the hotel.
- 7:30 PM: Room, more TV. Possibly a movie. Maybe I should've just stayed in the room all day.
- 9:00 PM: Sleep. Maybe? I hope?
Day 3: Departure and the Lingering Aroma of Chlorine
- 7:00 AM: Another attempt at waking up. Why can't I sleep in on vacation?!
- 7:30 AM: Breakfast, ROUND 2. Maybe I'll try a waffle. Anything to delay the inevitable packing process.
- 8:30 AM: Packing (yuck). Why did I bring so much stuff? I always do this.
- 9:30 AM: One last look at that underwhelming pool.
- 10:00 AM: Check out. Wishing I had stayed longer.
- 11:00 AM: Drive to the airport. Traffic? Ugh.
- Flight Time: Attempt to look back and laugh about my trip.
Additional Notes:
- Emotional State: Fluctuating. Excited. Frustrated. Slightly caffeinated. Regret. Happiness? Who knows?
- Food Goals: Eat (mostly) healthy-ish. But also enjoy the fact that I'm on vacation, aka eat whatever I want sometimes.
- Memories: Hopefully, some. A story to tell.
So there you have it. That's the "plan." The reality? Probably a lot more chaotic, a lot more rambling, and a lot more like real life. This is a vacation, people, not a perfectly curated Instagram feed. Here's to finding the joy (and surviving) the La Quinta adventure!
Albuquerque's Pyramid Hotel: Unbelievable Views & Luxury You Won't Forget!
1. So, what *exactly* do you do? Beyond the obvious, I mean.
Ugh, the million-dollar question, isn't it? Okay, so, the "official" answer is pretty much what everyone tells you: I do *stuff*. But the *real* answer? I'm a professional… well, let's call it a *thinker* and *connector*. I spend a lot of time wrestling with ideas – sometimes my own, sometimes yours. I try to make sense of the world, then I try to share that sense (or sometimes, *lack* of sense) with others. It's like… I'm a digital Swiss Army Knife of words and thoughts. Sometimes, I'm actually good at this, and sometimes I feel like a toddler wielding a chainsaw. And that, my friends, is the beauty of life right there. Now, where's the coffee?
2. What inspired you to... well, *be* this?
Inspiration? Oh, that’s a juicy one. It’s a tangled web, honestly. Partly, it was the absolute *boredom* of always doing the same thing, living the predictable life. Then, there's the fact that I've always been a bit of a word-nerd and I find humans to be the most interesting and complicated thing in the universe (second only to cats, obviously). I *love* listening to stories, poking around in people's brains, and trying to figure out what makes them tick. But the real *kick* came when I was able to articulate the mess and the beauty of humanity into words that others could connect to. That's the stuff that makes me feel like I'm actually *doing* something that matters. It's like finding a hidden treasure, really.
3. What's the hardest part of your... profession, let's say?
Oh, where do I even *begin*? Okay, one of the hardest things is probably dealing with the endless barrage of information, the constant need to update and adapt. It's exhausting! It's like being a sponge in the middle of a tidal wave. You're constantly absorbing, processing, spitting out. And sometimes, you just want to *scream*. I also find it hard to be completely objective. I try, I really do. But I'm human. Flawed. Opinionated. And let's be honest, sometimes my opinions are just *wrong*, but I'm learning. *Learning*. The hardest part is not allowing the pressure to create to suck the joy out of it.
4. What’s a moment when you were genuinely, completely, totally *stumped* by something?
Okay, here's a story that's still etched on my memory. Last week, I was asked to write a story about the meaning of life, while incorporating the experience of walking through a forest. Me. The meaning of LIFE! The forest I've never even *seen*! I stared at the blank screen for three hours, drinking coffee and trying to compose. Then, when I finally came up with something it was so… *bad*. The story was all over the place. The analogies were weak, the metaphors were strained, and the whole thing reeked of forced profundity. I was a hot, sweaty mess. I ended up deleting the whole thing and starting again...twice! It was a brutal reminder that even the most seasoned "thinker" can be reduced to a puddle of self-doubt.
5. What’s something that makes you laugh, *every single time*?
Oh, easy. Cats. Those fluffy little tyrants of chaos. My own cat, Mr. Whiskers, is a constant source of amusement. The way he tries to squeeze into boxes that are clearly too small, the dramatic sigh he gives when I don't give him exactly what he wants... it's comedy gold, every single day. And honestly, a well-timed pun. I’m a sucker for a good pun. My friend, bless her heart, told a joke about a baker who was so stressed out he couldn't *kneed* to even think about his bread. Honestly, I snorted my coffee clear across the room.
6. What are you *most* passionate about?
Authenticity. Realness. The messy, glorious, utterly imperfect truth of being human. The ability for each of us to have our own journey and learn from it. I get fired up when I see people being brave enough to be themselves, to own their stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It doesn't even matter what you do or who you are, but to have the courage to step into the ring of life, and fight with passion, with your own tools and your own heart. We all are just trying to make sense of it all.
7. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? (Go easy.)
Okay, I'll try to go easy. I’d wish for more empathy. It's that simple. If people could just *try* to understand where others are coming from, the world would be a vastly different place. Fewer wars, less hate, and more… *connection*. Maybe more coffee shops too. Good coffee is crucial to empathy, you know.
8. Do you ever get tired of doing what you do?
*Oh god, yes*. Absolutely, 100% yes. There are days when I just want to throw my keyboard out the window, run away to a deserted island, and become a professional napper. The constant pressure to create, to be "on," to be clever and insightful… it's exhausting. Some days, I feel like a hamster on a wheel, just running and running, never getting anywhere. But then, I get a message from someone who says something I wrote resonated with them, or I read something that sparks my imagination.. And I realize... that the struggle is worth it. This whole thing is a dance, and I guess I'm still learning the steps.
9. What's something most people *don’t* know about you?
I can’t sing. Like, at all. I'd be a terrible performer if I ever did the act of a singer. ItCity Stay Finder
Post a Comment for "Tampa Bay's BEST Kept Secret: La Quinta Inn & Suites I-75!"