Escape to Houston's Hidden Gem: La Quinta Inn & Suites Humble
The Hotel Review That Almost Broke Me (But in a Good Way?)
Alright, alright, buckle up buttercups. You’re getting the real deal here. No polished press release puffery, no bland hotel-speak. Just me, your humble (and slightly jaded) reviewer, spilling the tea (or maybe the lukewarm coffee from the in-room Keurig – we’ll get to that). This review is going to be long, messy, and hopefully, at least a little bit helpful. I’ve been through this hotel, lived it, and I'm here to tell you… it was an experience. Let's dive in.
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(The Arrival & Initial Impressions – Did My Soul Survive?)
First off, the entrance. Oof. I'm not sure I'd rate it a 10 anymore because I'm not sure the bellhop could do much more, to be frankly honest, he was as baffled at luggage-handling as I was at the sheer scale of the place. Seriously, it's like a small city. Finding the actual front desk was a quest in itself. But hey, they had a doorman, which, you know, fancy. He even had a little wave. That was something.
Accessibility: Now, this is CRUCIAL for me (and should be for everyone). The hotel claims to be aces on accessibility. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, mostly. Ramps, elevators, the whole shebang. But… (and there’s always a but, right?) The pathways outside were a little wonky. Uneven paving stones, a rogue tree root here and there. Navigating was occasionally… adventurous. Facilities for disabled guests? They said they had them, but it took a little digging to actually find them. The front desk could point you in the right direction, but it felt a little like a treasure hunt. They have this thing that is a total mess, but it makes it that there are like 8 rooms that are like a secret club. You have to ask a secret question, and get a secret password to be able to get the secret rooms. And no one can tell you any of this because it's all super secret. But I'm pretty sure they were trying to be inclusive, so A for effort.
Check-in/out [express, private, contactless]: I wanted to get in and out, but it felt like a game of cat and mouse, what with the secret rooms. But I finally got logged in and I finally got logged out - that's something.
(The Room – My Fortress of Solitude (or Not))
(Available in all rooms): Okay, let's break this down. Air conditioning: Check. Alarm clock: Check, though I promptly smashed the snooze button into oblivion. Bathtub: Check. And it was BIG. I could practically swim in it. Seriously, I'm not a small person, but I could have easily gotten a friend or two in with me in here. Bathrobes: Luxuriously fluffy – like a warm hug. Blackout curtains: A godsend. Essential for someone who, ahem, enjoys a good lie-in. Coffee/tea maker: A definite win, though the coffee pods were… well, let's just say they weren't the best. Daily housekeeping: Stellar service. They made the bed, tidied up, the whole shebang. Desk: Functional, if a little cramped. Free bottled water: Bless. Hair dryer: Worked like a charm. In-room safe box: Crucial. Internet access – wireless: Okay, so this is where things get a little… testy. They brag about Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! which sounds amazing. And it is amazing when it works. But… the signal strength was patchy at times. I’m blaming the sheer size of the place. At least they had Internet access – LAN, a little port in the wall. (No, I'm not telling you where the port is, you're gonna have to look for it.) Laptop workspace: Good. Mini bar: Standard stuff. Non-smoking room: Thank. God. Private bathroom: Obviously. Refrigerator: Cold, as it should be. Satellite/cable channels: Plenty to choose from. Seating area: Comfortably squishy. Shower: Powerful water pressure – a big win. Slippers: Always a welcome touch. Smoke detector: Hope it works! Towels: Plentiful and fluffy. Wake-up service: Actually woke me up!
Room decorations: Uhhh… well, let's say the decor was… consistent. Generic hotel-chic. Neutral colors, bland artwork. But hey, at least it was clean.
(Dining, Drinking, & Snacking – My Culinary Adventure (or Misadventure))
Alright, let's get into the food. Because let's be honest, that's half the fun, right?
Restaurants: Several. A la carte in restaurant: Yes, and the menu was… vast. Asian cuisine in restaurant: Yep. Breakfast [buffet]: Oh, the buffet! A chaotic, glorious wonderland of carbs, pastries, and questionable bacon. Breakfast service: Fine. Coffee/tea in restaurant: Acceptable. Desserts in restaurant: Decadent! International cuisine in restaurant: Broad. Poolside bar: A must. Room service [24-hour]: A lifesaver at 3 am. Salad in restaurant: Good. Snack bar: Useful. Vegetarian restaurant: An option. Western cuisine in restaurant: Sure.
Restaurants - specifics: So, I went to the buffet. The sheer volume of food was overwhelming. Mountains of pastries, an entire section dedicated to eggs (scrambled, omelets, fried -- the works). The bacon… I shall never forget the bacon. It was some of the most crispy, delicious bacon I've ever had. The coffee, however. Well, let's say the coffee in the room was better. At the poolside bar, the cocktails were strong and the atmosphere was relaxed. Perfect for a lazy afternoon.
(The Spa & Relaxation – Trying to Achieve Peak Serenity)
(Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor])
Okay, let’s be real. The spa was the main reason I booked this hotel. And let me tell you, it didn't disappoint (mostly).
- Spa: The spa itself was stunning. Dimly lit, soothing music, the whole shebang. The Pool with view was breathtaking. Infinity edge, panoramic vistas. Gorgeous.
- Massage: The massage was… divine. Like, melt-into-the-table, forget-all-your-worries divine. They knew what they were doing. The masseuse was amazing. However, the Body scrub was a bit meh.
- Sauna, Steamroom: Both top-notch.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I peeked in. Looked well-equipped, though I'm not exactly a gym rat.
(Cleanliness & Safety – Did I Survive the Germs?)
(Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment)
(Cleanliness & Safety - specifics): Okay, this is SUPER important, especially now. I'd say they did pretty well. The hotel took cleanliness and safety SERIOUSLY. They had Anti-viral cleaning products everywhere. The Daily disinfection in common areas was evident. Plenty of Hand sanitizer stations. Individually-wrapped food options were plentiful. The Staff trained in safety protocol were all wearing masks (as was I, of course). They definitely seemed to be taking things seriously. My room seemed to be very, very clean. And the Rooms sanitized between stays was a good sign.
(Services & Conveniences – The Little Things That Make a Difference)
**(Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi
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Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is a La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Houston Humble Atascocita itinerary, with feelings. And let me tell you, I am fully expecting to feel things. Houston, here I come! (Maybe.)
Day 1: Houston, Here We… Arrive? (And Immediately Regret Packing So Many Jeans)
8:00 AM: Wake up. Or, more accurately, attempt to wake up. My alarm, a relentless little beast, is blaring some generic pop song I vaguely recognize. (Honestly, who chooses these things?) Groan. Hit snooze. Several times. Prepare for existential dread. I’m pretty sure I forgot to pack socks.
9:00 AM: Actually crawl out of bed. Realize I'm already running late for the taxi (the one I hopefully remembered to book). Panic-search for my passport. Find it. Lose it. Find it again. Sigh, this is my life.
9:30 AM: Taxi arrives. The driver, bless his soul, is already judging the fact I look like a lost, caffeinated raccoon. Commence the airport shuffle. (The airport is the worst.)
11:30 AM: Arrive at the airport. The usual chaos. Lines. Smelly people. Coffee. (Needed.) And the wonderful discovery that my flight's delayed. Wonderful. Fine. I am going to find a charging station, then look for a nice drink. And then just breathe.
1:00 PM: Flight takes off. (Hopefully, this time.) The tiny plane feels like a tin can in the sky. I'm already fantasizing about a luxurious La Quinta bed and a hot shower.
3:00 PM (ish): Land. Finally. Houston, y'all. The air hits me like a warm, humid hug. Or maybe it's a slap in the face. I can't decide yet. Try to find my luggage.
4:00 PM: Arrived at La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Houston Humble Atascocita. Check in. The front desk clerk is stunningly cheerful. I'm suspicious. The lobby is fine, the kind of fine that lets you know they've tried (and, well, haven't quite nailed) the "modern" aesthetic. But the important stuff is good: the AC's blasting arctic air, and there's a complimentary coffee station. (Bless.)
4:30 PM: Unpack. Discover I have, indeed, forgotten socks. And my toothbrush. Commence internal screaming.
5:00 PM: Shower. Oh, glorious, heavenly shower. The water pressure is perfect. For the first time today, I feel like a human again.
6:00 PM: Venture out. First order of business: snacks. Because, let's be honest, the complimentary breakfast sounds… suspect. Find a supermarket. Buy a bag of chips the size of my head. Regret not getting my toothbrush, but there is time.
7:00 PM: Dinner. Try a local Tex-Mex place. (I have to try the Tex-Mex, right?) The food is… a lot. My face is starting to sweat, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to explode. It is what it is. I am going to finish it all.
8:30 PM: Back to the hotel. Collapse onto the bed. The sheets are clean. The pillows are fluffy. I am a puddle of weary satisfaction.
9:00 PM: Contemplate watching TV but just fall asleep.
Day 2: The Texan Awakening (and the Quest for Decent Coffee)
6:00 AM: Wake up. No, really, wake up. The Texas sun has decided to shine directly into my window, and I am not a fan.
6:30 AM: Attempt the "free" breakfast. It's as bad as I feared. The "eggs" are… amorphous. The coffee tastes like dishwater. I give up and go to the lobby.
7:00 AM: Starbucks run. Necessity is the mother of creativity.
8:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Day trip to NASA. HOLY. MOLY. It's cool. Really cool. I mean, space! Rockets! Moon rocks! The sheer SCALE of everything is mind-boggling. I mean, I knew it, but seeing the REAL things is a gut punch. I was staring at a freaking ROCKET. It's huge. I could barely finish the experience, I started feeling really emotional. Like, full-on overwhelmed. It made me appreciate what humans can do. Then I wanted to go home and cry. But, yeah, NASA. Go see NASA.
12:00 PM: Lunch at a cafe in NASA. Had a sandwich. I think I want to go back to NASA.
1:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Seriously, I can't get over NASA. I'm still thinking of space.
5:00 PM: Shower #2. I'm starting to feel like I live in the shower.
6:00 PM: Dinner. Trying a different place this time. Something with seafood, maybe? (I'm terrified of ordering the wrong Tex-Mex again.)
7:30 PM: Actually, it's so humid that I have decided to stay in and watch TV.
Day 3: Departure and the Bitter-Sweet Farewell (and the Quest for Socks!)
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. (Again.) Pack up remaining items. Check out of the hotel. The front desk clerk is still disturbingly cheerful. I have accepted that she is probably an alien.
- 8:00 AM: One last coffee run. Sigh.
- 8:30 AM: Trying to figure out how to get back to the airport. The shuttle is gone.
- 9:00 AM: Airport. The airport is still the worst.
- 10:00 AM: Plane.
- 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM: Plane in the air.
Post-Trip Ramblings:
So, Houston. It was… an experience. The humidity is real. The food is… adventurous. NASA is truly awesome. And I still didn’t buy socks. Seriously, how does one function without socks?
The La Quinta was… well, a place to sleep. It got the job done. The bed was comfortable. The shower was a godsend. I could have done without the "eggs," but hey, you can't win 'em all.
Would I go back? Maybe. Would I pack socks next time? Absolutely. And maybe, just maybe, I'll learn to tolerate the airport. (Probably not.)
Escape to Paradise: Black Dolphin Inn's New Smyrna Beach Bliss!
So, like, what *is* this thing anyway? Let's get the basic gist, yeah?
But *why* should I even bother? Seriously, what's the point?
I remember the *first* time I really "got it." It was like… a lightbulb went off! Then immediately flickered and died. Then sputtered back to life. I was so confused. But it was exciting! Like a treasure hunt where you're not sure if there's treasure.
Alright, alright, but what are the *rules*? Are there any rules? I hate rules.
I once tried to pretend I understood quantum physics. Disaster! Utter, glorious, hilarious disaster. My brain just went "nope."
How do I even *start*? I'm overwhelmed already. This is too much!
Do something that feels... *right* to you. Journaling? Great. Staring out the window and contemplating the existential dread of existence? Also viable. Reading poetry? *Perfect*. Anything! Seriously! Just *begin*. And don't worry if you screw up. You *will* screw up. Everyone does! I once tried to bake a cake and ended up with something that resembled a volcanic eruption. It was delicious – in a weird, textural way.
What if I get stuck? What if I’m not "good" at it?
I spent *years* thinking I was terrible at... everything. Turns out, I was just being hard on myself. Like, *really* hard. Give yourself some slack. Try something else, even if it's utterly unrelated. Watch cat videos. Take a walk. Eat ice cream. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is absolutely *nothing*.
And if you’re really, truly stuck? Embrace the suck! Savor the frustration. It’s all part of the process. I mean, picture a cake as you try to make it... the bits of batter all over the place, the flour cloud, the slight burnt smell? Yeah! That's life.
Is it hard? Tell me the truth!
But here’s the catch: it's also incredibly *rewarding*. In a way that's hard to describe. Like… getting a surprise present, except the present is… well, *understanding yourself and the universe a bit better*. Or maybe just learning you *can* actually fold a fitted sheet. Small victories matter. And those big ones? They're worth the struggle.
What about mistakes? I'm *terrified* of making mistakes.
I once accidentally sent an email to my entire company with the subject line "Help, I think I broke the internet." (True story! I *didn’t* break the internet, thankfully. Just my pride a little.) But you know what? It was hilarious! And it taught me a valuable lesson about proofreading. And, you know, not panicking. And it gave everyone something to laugh about. Mistakes aren't the enemy. They're the best comedy gold!
So, what's the *end* game? What am I even *working* towards?
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